Love Got Ya Down?
Well, it’s love season. Everyone’s sending their messages about Valentine’s Day, how happy everyone is with their significant other. For those who are brutally single, such as myself, the season brings horrible feelings. I have found myself irritable, short tempered, and at a loss for where to go from here. I’ve been alone now for 18 months, and instead of feeling better as time goes on, I’ve felt worse. Love is hard to handle sometimes. It can be a mixed bag of good and bad. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is one of the worst feelings you may ever experience. I have felt lost in the wilderness these last months. I have faced rejection over and over, and I found myself feeling bitter and empty. The broken pieces of my heart, and my spirit left on the floor. The doors around me closed and I was trapped in the room with the pain, reliving it over and over again. As I attempted to move forward, every attempt seemed to be futile. The resistance to the lies and succumbing to my situation was harder then I ever imagined it would have been. While on this journey I have not found a new love, or even new friendships, I have found something far more important. It doesn’t take away all the hurt, but it does help. God’s love is more powerful then anything we may find in this life. God’s love doesn’t come and go with the whims of human desire.
Tell Your Heart to Beat Again By, Danny Gokey
Like you’ve never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you’re never gonna get back
To the you that used to be
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
We all need to find a way to heal and be all right. Yes the loneliness is hard to handle, and there may always be remnants of this in the background. Being alone in this world without a love, without close friendships can be a living nightmare. There is still hope though. The day will come when the Lord may see it fit to answer those prayers. The prayers that have been frequent in the dead of night, in the middle of the storms, in the meadow with the sun on your face, no matter where you’ve prayed, don’t loose hope, and don’t loose faith.
Lift Your Head Weary Sinner: By, Crowder
All who’ve strayed and walked away,
unspeakable things you’ve done
Fix your eyes on the mountain,
let the past be dead and gone
Come all saints and sinners,
you can’t outrun God
Whatever you’ve done can’t overcome,
the power of the blood
If you’re lost and wandering
Come stumbling in like a prodigal child
See the walls start crumbling
Let the gates of glory open wide
We must learn to focus on the Love we have from God. In this time of struggle the pain is real, and I understand it tremendously. I have attempted to avoid social media, and commercials, and even going to the store. I was at Walmart the other day and as soon as I walked in it was a sea of Red. There were hearts everywhere, and chocolates, cards, stuffed animals, all kinds of items to depict love. This isn’t easy for me because in my past, I loved to celebrate Valentines Day. I loved to do the cards, the chocolates, the gifts, the plans, everything you can think of. I loved to spoil my lover on this special day. Without someone, the constant reminder today is a struggle. I never would have thought after my ex-wife left that I would be alone this long. I never would have thought I’d face so much rejection. Luckily, there’s one form of love I never need to fear being rejected. The Love of God will never leave you, and that’s something we need to remember. Deuteronomy 31:8 “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” We may face the night but we do not face it alone. No matter how dark and scary the night, we must focus on the truth. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” We may feel lost, and alone, and we may not have people with us, but we have a love that never ends. The Love we have from God may not always feel like enough, but when we are able to push out the heart desires even a little, we may find the comfort that we have been seeking all along.
Being alone isn’t ever easy, and I for one would never downplay the feelings of loneliness. I feel so deeply alone it often causes me to a point of depression. It’s not an easy thing being alone, and we often think we struggle alone. Sometimes finding help isn’t as clear-cut as we would like. Sometimes finding that place where you belong isn’t easy, but we need to think outside of the box. I know for sure I am my best me when I’m with someone. When I have somewhere to give my love and affection. It’s not easy walking this life without someone to share in my experiences. I often feel hopeless that my fortunes will change, but it’s in those feelings I know I’m under spiritual warfare. The Devil wants you to feel isolated, He wants you to feel alone, and He feels it’s easier to pick you off from the rest of humanity. Don’t loose hope, and don’t loose sight of the goals that rest within tomorrow.
While some days it may seem we’re being washed down the river, unable to control where we go, how fast we’re going, and the treacherous waters we may face looming around every bend. No matter what we face, or how doom and gloom it may seem, the love that matters is the love of the Lord. That’s a love without end, and although it won’t make some feel less lonely regarding people, I would say, pray about your loneliness. Pray about what you feel would help with that feeling. We always have options, and when we focus on how to fix the problem, we’re more likely to find the solution with the help of prayer and boots on the ground.