Let’s face it we all have our insecurities about something in this life. Everyone’s different and everyone has their own battles to face. Over the years a particular event has occurred in my life on more then one occasion that has created and cultivated a unfortunate, and disturbing insecurity. I would go as far to say it’s certainly not an endearing or attractive quality. Nevertheless it’s here and fighting back against it is truly a struggle.
An understandable fear of abandonment has settled in and has taken up residence in the deepest part of my mind. With it it’s cousin the insecurity of feeling wanted, or needed. When a message is sent to someone, you know they’ve seen it, and your brain automatically goes to ‘what did I do wrong?’ and ‘am I not important enough to them?’ These things may be true, but the most likely fact is, it’s in our head. My self worth has been in question for some time now. These things the Devil tells you, whispers to you in your darkest hours are thorns in your side.
We must learn to focus on the good things we have to offer in a relationship. Everyone brings something special to a relationship, and thus we are all special. Philippians 4:6-9 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” If we are loved and love, we must learn to lift up our loved. 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” If someone’s important to you, then it’s in that importance you would want to set their fears aside and show them they have nothing to fear. Lift up your partner, lift up your friends, and help fight back against the whispers of the devil.
The number one thing to remember is placing your self worth in others is always a recipe for disaster. No matter what you beat the odds in this life and God has made you just the way he wanted you. Consider why you are unhappy, or why you are insecure. John 15:11 “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” The only thing we should need is the knowledge that Christ loves us just the way we are.
You must learn to trust in yourself and focus on your own gifts. Know what your gifts are and know that they are good enough. If your partner doesn’t see or appreciate them, perhaps there are bigger issues, which may or may not be your fault. A deep internal look at the cause may be warranted to understand and justify, and then overcome.
I believe sharing these with your significant other is important. Be sure to communicate and allow that open line of communication to face the problem head on. There will always be a way to face the insecurities that plague you. Allow yourself to face your insecurities and then you can own up to it, and overcome. Have faith in the Lord and what the Lord created. Each of us has been given gifts and we should focus on those gifts instead of our shortcomings. Romans 12:6-9 “Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; 7 Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; 8 Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness. 9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.” Use your gifts. Allow someone to love you for what you have to offer, and fear not for what you do not have. The ice will melt one day and the life preserved, frozen in time, will once again show it’s colors and it’s beauty. Let the ice melt over your heart frozen in time, and warm up to the idea of loving once again.