The Healing Begins
As the last week has taught me tomorrows plan is nothing more then an idea. An idea that until the steps begin, the plan is nothing more then faint belief that we actually have control to stick to the plans. A neck brace and painkillers are the highlights of my day. As I begin to settle in to my new dwelling, I watch as one of my dogs goes round after round with a particularly brave, or stupid cat, I haven’t figured out which one yet. I have no idea what my new plan is, or what I’m going to do, but 6 weeks is a long time. 6 weeks before I can drive myself again, and 6 months before I’m back up to lifting strength, and that’s when the hard work will begin. I will have to find a way to get by in all these months without the use of my arms and back I’ve grown so accustomed to. When someone tells you, you will loose the use of something you use all the time, it doesn’t hit you right away, it takes time, it slowly seeps into your mind, and then when you need it, when there’s something you feel you have to do, but can’t, that’s when reality smacks you square in the dumbfounded face.
In retrospect I suppose I knew this day was coming. 7 years ago when my C7 disc bulged the first time and doctors told me I was looking at a fusion surgery then, I built up the idea of surgery for years prior, and now that it’s come I am finding this isn’t what I had in mind. I never anticipated being displaced from my home, being separated from my life, and watching as everything I knew and loved had been torn away, ripped apart, and set on fire. We never fully understand what we are or where we are going, but having faith in a God, the God, our God, that in the perfection of the light, the plan that has been set forth in front of us, albeit treacherous and full of toils at times, is designed to shape us, train us, forge us from the babies we start off being, to soldiers in a war that has been going on long before us, and last on far after we return to the dust. Being a soldier takes months of training, and sometimes longer. Being a soldier for Christ takes years of hardships, of biblical study, and maybe after we’ve learned much, seen a lot, endured hell, then perhaps we have grown enough in our faith to actually teach and preach towards those who need it the most.
A few months back I wrote a blog about love, and responsibilities as an adult Christian and what it means. “It means giving up that piece of yourself that must be in control, that must be held on to in order to protect yourself from harm.” (Arrow Preacher, Pass On What You Have Learned) Healing begins when you learn to love, and allow that love to be the deciding factor on how we treat others. We must learn to let go of the anger, the frustrations, and allow ourselves to be filled by the love of the Holy Spirit. The truth is in positivity, and even towards plans you make is has an affect. The natural energies of the universe producing the aura around us, invokes love or destruction. Find love in the places least likely to find it, even if it means you are the one that plants it there. In all things the greatest of things is Love greater then hope, and faith. Let God fill you, be your light in the darkness, and when all hope seems lost, remember love is the key, and when the seeds are planted with love what you plant shall grow and flourish.