I spent my life thinking we had a special connection. I worshiped you, and knew you were with me, but I resisted in so many ways. I kept and held onto resentments. I was so angry even though I held it all in. In my youth I felt your presence but I was an angry kid. I spent all my time going from one trauma to the next, one school day to the next, putting all the bad in a box, a box on a shelf in a closet and closing the door. I kept believing that couldn’t be what life was about. There was more to life and there was more to you oh God.

I didn’t know much about the Old Testament in those days. I didn’t know about the hardships of Job, the trials of David. I never understood the reason for trials, I never understood the paradox of the more you suffer, the more you needed to lift your heart to God. Even now into my adult life I have questioned the why, I’ve wondered the reason to take everything I held dear. That was right up till recently. 1 Peter 5:10But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle [you].” We will always have to suffer a little while. Perhaps the reason for it is simple. How do we face adversity? How do we react under horrible situations? James 1:12 “Blessed [is] the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.” Are we tempted not just in the ways of the world, but tempted in anger? Of course we are. Every trial is a test of our faith, our character.

Look at Judy Hopps from Zootopia. Here’s a bunny in the big world where bunnies were good for only carrot farms and making other little bunnies. One bunny chose to overcome the world, push beyond, and achieve greatness in those trials. There will be times when you want to turn back and run home. There will be times when you feel the world is too much, but that’s when we need to lift our needs, our hearts higher to the Lord. Romans 5:3 “And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;” For all our trials, for all our misery on this world there is hope. Romans 8:18 “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” We are never alone even if we feel like we are. We may not always have someone sitting with us, we may not feel like our friends and family are there for us, but the truth is as nice as it is to have those things, having and knowing God is with us is more important.

We cannot serve two masters. We cannot serve the world and the Lord at the same time. We must not hold onto idles, we must reach for our God, and live according to the Lord above. No matter how bad this world may treat you the end goal is far greater. Any mountain worth climbing is worth the work to get to the summit. Any goal worth having is worth working for, so work for the goal of Heaven. Believe in your God with all thine heart, and have faith that pain is temporary. Do not be angry about your trials instead embrace them. Turn them to your advantage, and you shall be rewarded with Glory. Give your whole heart to the Lord. The top of the mountain you can see for miles. We are amongst the trees, so we only see a little, God sit upon the mountaintop and can see all. One day we too may understand the why. Have faith, have love, have compassion, have empathy, and love thy neighbors to include your enemies.


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