When something is liked and disliked at the same time, loved and hated, and okay and not okay at the same time.
When you wait all day for an absolution that would never come, when you look for peace that never seems to come. Waiting for God to send His Angels to pull you out of the wreckage of your life. When the Angels never come, but that voice inside your head tells you God’s with you. The snakes are nipping at your heals and you keep climbing higher and higher to get away, the beautiful escape. We never plan for the world to crumble, and we never plan on falling to our knees at the brink of a broken world, screaming to the heavens to save us. You’ve been a good soldier, a faithful man and in that moment the snakes, the vultures are tossed away. Saved by God, moved from broken to mending.
The faith it takes to overcome the world is Jesus. So why do I hate myself so much? Why do I feel so low about whom I am? The going gets rough and some hate God, some hate people, some hate themselves. That’s where my own duality comes into play. I both love and hate who I am. The fact that God loves me I know I’m special. I know I’m someone worthwhile, but I’ve largely not been treated well by others throughout my whole life. I’ve not been beaten and tortured, I’ve suffered loss, and blame. God thought tells us that we cannot put our faith in mankind because man is sinful and that sinful nature will let you down, will hurt you, and the Devil through Sin will find any little chink in the human armor and infiltrate like a virus, replicating, until sinful desire is all that’s left.
The same goes with the little whispers inside my own head. The negative whispers I hear are the Devil or his minions telling me lies, that hidden war going on all around us that we cannot see. The truth is the helmet is supposed to help, and it does so long as we keep our head in the Bible and don’t let ourselves get distracted by the world.
Don’t shut God out; don’t keep the gates closed from God. God doesn’t want us to be alone, God wants us to have someone, God wants us to know that He is always with us. God’s blessings and guidance, and the army of Angels are always by our side. When we finally realize this, when we finally tear down the walls we will realize that Love has been there all along. The season of love is always. We can’t let the trials of this world build walls and defenses. Love concurs all. Love is the strongest of emotions, strongest of actions, and that Love shows me that there is no Winter of love, no Fall of love, there’s just love. We will suffer heartbreak from love, but Love is a gift from up above, and that’s the only Love that really matters.
Take the duality inside and shatter that mirror and let God take up both sides in your heart.