Breaking the Bow
As a ships Captain the first duty is always to the ship. You must know how to manage the crew, know everything about your ship; know where you’re going, and how to get there. Now this next part will rattle some cages, so before you quickly judge, hear me out. Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Men, this doesn’t give you free access to be hard headed, or stubborn, this doesn’t allow you to be controlling as a King would, but instead think of this as a ship. You men are the captains of your marriage. You should be leading with dignity, with grace, with kindness and compassion. You should be leading your marriage as a God fearing and loving home. Wives are the first mate, supportive, understanding, and strong in faith. No kingdom should be without a queen. As the saying goes behind every great leader is a great woman. Women play a vital role in the household. My personal belief is a woman can do anything a man can do.
So many males today have kids but refuse to be a father. So many boys today stay boys and never grow into men. It’s not enough to be an adult; you must act like a man. There are so many mothers out there raising children on their own. We men need to learn to act like men, and resume our place as leaders. Christ died for us, for all of our sins, and we men should be willing to die for Christ, for our families if need be. There should be a higher level of devotion from me.
Here however are the meat and potatoes of the post. Divorce. Husbands, especially ones who’ve served in the military should understand this. She’s (your wife) is your battle buddy. You don’t retreat. You lever quit, never surrender, never leave your buddy behind. We have to learn the language of love. Love isn’t a feeling. It’s a commitment. It’s doing it every day. Everyone goes through rough patches. You both need to learn how to bring each other up, not tear down. Often in a marriage especially one where infidelity has occurred it’s difficult to find any kind of peace. How do we move forward after an affair? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rue. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes for all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” Now even though the bible allows divorce for one reason alone adultery, that doesn’t mean that’s the right course for everyone. As Christ so loved us he forgave us for the most horrible of crimes. We however must want and ask for forgiveness. Any marriage can be saved so long as the lines of communication remain open. As long as both parties are welcome to the idea of seeking wise counsel. Proverbs 12:15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” Proverbs 19:20“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.” Proverbs 1:5 “Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance,” We men can be stubborn; we can be bull headed, and ignorant. We have gotten into an attitude of not wanting to ask for help, not admitting we need it. How foolish can we be to think we can handle every situation, every problem? The truth is every problem and situation has a solution, and even world leaders have a slew of people within their counsel. Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” In all things God will be there for us. He will provide the answers if we just learn to ask the right questions. As Peter wrote his letter 1 Peter 3:8-12 was particularly important in how to live within a Godly Marriage. “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; 11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
Be your ships captain, be the masters of your ship, but bow down to the greatness of Gods creation. God’s master over all but expects us to command our homes. Don’t let your bow break on that ship of yours, navigate your waters, and avoid the storms when you can, but learn to prepare for them. Fight the storms, fight for your marriage, fight for what’s right and always remember God is your North Star. Place the compass North and set sail.